No baby yet.. Every time I say that to my husband.. he says, " Yes there is, she is inside your tummy.. I'm pretty sure there is a baby in there.." I smile. He is just trying to make me feel better. I am at the end of my pregnancy rope. It has been a full nine months.. a few days away from 40 complete weeks of being pregnant. I am glad that I did not get too big until the end, because carrying around this big belly is not easy.
Oh how I just want to hold my new baby girl, my new child that I have helped co-create. I hope that she comes out healthy as I have had NO problems this entire time. If anyone is not as healthy as they should be its the mom, me. I haven't taken care of myself as well as I could. I lack certain nutrition and boy could I feel it at times. I WISH I HAD.. HAD SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF ME. Make sure I slept enough, ate enough, and just did the basics of care enough.
Maybe my lil girl is waiting for her NANA, perhaps...She will be here Friday. I need her. Summer needs her. We all need her up here. Her daughters.. her grandchildren. It's been a year since I have seen her. Last time.. It was when I got married. Glad she can be here for those momentous occasions in my life though. Its just day to day stuff.. Sometimes I wish I could just spend a day with my mom... or she could help share her talents with my two lil girls who need her very much. She has so much to TEACH them. I feel a heavy burden ..and I feel inadequate in my ability to teach them all they need to know to be successful adults.
A week doesen't seem like long enuf. I want the baby HERE when mom is here. I want her to be able to hold her and help me care for her.. as she could with Summer.
God help me trust in him.. and his timing.
No comments:
Post a Comment